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Saturday, August 21, 2010

A Template for Not Asking Me Out

If you don't want me to be your girlfriend, here's an easy way to achieve that goal. 
(c) T-t-tori.

Me: *walking along, texting my girl friend*

You: Hey.

Me: *continues walking, assumes you're a homeless man asking for money*

You: Hey.

Me: *continues walking, finishing fabulous text: "R U SRSLY N JAIL?"*

You: HEY. Do you have a cigarette?

Me: Oh...no, sorry.

You: OK.

Me: *walks on*

You: Hey, this is a really weird question...are you on your own?

Me: I'm meeting someone.

You: Because I'm on my own. *bounces on balls of feet*

Me: Sorry, I'm meeting someone.

You: Oh, I just thought you might want to do something.



May I share a shocking fact with you? I have a boyfriend. HOWEVER, on the rare occasions when my man is not chauffeuring me around, I am forced to move from point A to point B by myself. Sometimes I walk. Now, I understand that a woman walking along after 9 pm is probably on a serious Man Crawl, searching desperately for someone, anyone--even if they're a sort of depressing, sad-yet-bouncy Indian man (not to be confused with the Indian "The One" Man). I understand why you were confused. I mean, I was walking! By myself! Kind of like a prostitute. BUT FOR FREE!

1 comment:

You are truly great.