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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Complaining Gets You Everywhere!

Faithful subjects, I have learned a very important life lesson.

KARMA IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT WE THINK IT IS.

It's vital to complain because GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN! You should talk about people behind their back because THEY WILL LOVE YOU! Go ahead, shake that baby--WHEN HE IS GROWN HE WILL SAVE YOU FROM A HORRIFIC DEATH!

My point is, that after months of complaining about my crippling lack of success as a writer...

I HAVE BECOME TRULY FAMOUS AND INFINITELY WEALTHY!

I have a story published in FictionWeek Literary Review! You can tell it's super legit because it's an online-only magazine. STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! I hate you all.

"The FictionWeek Literary Review is a venue for innovative fiction and poetry. We intend to primarily publish writing that breaks new ground by finding new ways to tell a story...We are looking for innovative post-modern fiction (look it up)."

Did you know I was a postmodern writer? Neither did I. You learn something new about yourself when you complain enough. Woo woo! Woo woo! WOO WOO! STOOOOOOKED!

You can read my story in the Fall 2010 issue. SHOW ME SOME LOVE, BABY!

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You are truly great.