Sunday, January 23, 2011

Ace the MCAT! A Study Guide

This post is dedicated to Aaron, who's not allowed to write me prescriptions. 

Doctor Clip Art: the most under-appreciated art form ever?

You're called to perform an urgent brain surgery. WHERE IS THE BRAIN?
    1. Brain is another word for kneecap.
    2. Who needs a brain when you have a heart?
    3. The existence of a so-called "brain" is simply an urban legend. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "It's all in your head"?

Uh-oh! A deadly virus is sweeping the nation. You:
    1. ...thank your lucky stars that you just ordered How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse from! Thank goodness for their Free Super Saver Shipping! It should be here any day now.
    2. Perform brain surgery on everything you see.
    3. Up your daily dose of echinacea tea.

A “cadaver” is a:
  1. Best friend.
  2. Cuddle buddy.
  3. Thing you're not allowed to dig out of the graveyard.

The “Hippocratic Oath” is:
  1. A person who says one thing and does another.
  2. On my bookshelf right next to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo!
  3. Kind of like when you download iTunes and they show you that really long text in really small font and you have to click "Agree to Terms and Conditions" before they let you download it for real.

"Patients" are:
  1. Sad, weak fools that have not yet supped from the Fountain of Life.
  2. Friends to play with and touch.
  3. The Fruit of the Spirit that comes right after "peace."

Choose the best home remedy for incontinence:
  1. Mother's milk.
  2. Mashed avocado, honey, and yogurt, applied to the face for 10-15 minutes (5-10 minutes for sensitive skin), then rinsed off with warm water and followed by your favorite daily moisturizer.
  3. Brain surgery.


You are truly great.