Thursday, May 19, 2011


The reality is that it's cold and rainy in Chicago (cold like c-c-c-c-c-cold, like should I bring my peacoat? cold) even though it's supposed to be the lusty month of May, or whatever Guinevere sang about in Camelot. It's weird how few people know about that musical. HELLO, KING ARTHUR? I'm not saying it's great, but come on, I should be able to name drop "Guinevere" without causing a traffic jam, know what I mean?

Anyway, the reality is that it's cold and rainy and a certain person called MY DARLING BOYFRIEND has decided to skip town for two weeks, leaving me shivering, vulnerable, impoverished, inspirationless, and alone. Terribly, terribly alone.

Thankfully, my week of woe ends tomorrow, because I have a fabulous string of social activities lined up, starting with Ethiopian food with L + co. tomorrow and ending with D.Ro's WEDDING on Sunday, but for now--on this cold, harsh, rainy Wednesday of deepest azure--I just want to close my eyes and redo my entire existence.

I want to be with this guy:

...and while we're at it, I'd like to have the hair I had back then, because WHY DID I HATE IT SO MUCH? It looks so fabulous in pictures! And yet I clearly remember day after day of absolutely loathing it, wanting it to curl but feeling like it wasn't curly enough (um hello it clearly was) and doubting my own self-worth. WHY DID I HAVE TO GO AND HENNA IT?! AND THEN WHY DID I HENNDIGO IT INTO AN AWFUL SHADE OF BLACKNESS? Why does hair look good in pictures but bad in real life? If someone would just EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO ME...!


I want to be staying here:

It's just the house that Pablo Neruda built for his mistress in Santiago, Chile, no big deal.

And I want to be drinking homemade cold-brewed iced coffee: 

(c) Smitten Kitchen
Smitten Kitchen-style. With mah bf. And we will be very consciously NOT talking about art, because we hate artists, we just like things that are.

And then I want to go to the beach:

Nobody will be there, because I hate people.

Except for the invisible ghosts who provide us with food, drink, and umbrellas. BUT IF THEY SHOW THEIR FACES THEY WILL BE BURNED. By the sun, of course. I'll be too happy to start a bonfire of ghostly flesh. 

There will be a lost puppy looking to be loved:

Awwww, Charlie will look so cute playing with him in the waves! But when I tire of him, the ghosts will take him away. (The puppy, not Charlie.) TO A WONDERFUL PERSON WITH A HEART OF GOLD WHO LOVES PUPPIES!

These shorts won't be $268, they will be free. And I will be wearing them.

Along with a demure pair of sandals.

Yes, both pairs. At the same time. With perfect hair.


  1. i can't go back to the real world now after looking at those shoes. THOSE SHOES.

  2. That sounds perfect. I want to go to there too, but I'll hang out on a different island to keep your island people-free.


You are truly great.