Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I Have a New Header: The Post-Postmodern Intersection of Web Design and Writing in the Evolving Consciousness of a Twenty-First Century Female Subject

Look up! Up there!

Do you realize how hard it is for an English major like me to make her own header? Your reactions should range from shock and awe (minimum) to near-worship (maximum). As much as I loved my old header, it was just too big. This one won't take up your entire computer screen. I think. What are pixels? Anyway, one day I was creeping along on my limbs that have often been compared to those of a spider, especially when I'm dancing, which is fine unless I'm trying to dance sensually to the jungle beat of a bongo drum, in which case I'm like, “A SPIDER, CHARLIE? REALLY?”--I was creeping along when suddenly I came across this glorious piece of graffiti. Needless to say, one of the many paparazzi shots taken that day captured this iconic moment. Do you like it? Too much? Too erotic? Too tan?

As you can see, I've been working on my blog—excuse me, my Website—a lot lately. Allow me to point out some of the changes:
  • If you'll direct your attention to the right side of the page, you'll find a little icon that shows you what I'm currently reading. If you click on the book cover, it takes you to IndieBound (DOWN WITH AMAZON) where you can purchase the exact same book. This is the twenty-first century, people. Links are very real.
  • If you scroll to the very bottom of this site, you'll find a creepy message and a chance for you to follow my blog. I don't really understand how this following thing works. For instance, I know several people have my blog in their Google Reader, but they don't show up under Followers. I'm not trying to be funny here; I really don't get it. Can someone explain? Love, Grandma. 
  • If you'll direct your attention to just underneath my header, you'll find that I now have Pages. Yes, Pages. I wanted an About page, and then I felt like I needed a few more pages so that the About page didn't look depressing and lonely. But my new Pages are kind of dumb. If anyone has any ideas for meaningful pages, hilarious pages, or, preferably, pages filled with propaganda, please let me know! I'm really good at making Pages now. Books have pages! The internet is not so different than real life.
Hungry for more meaningful content? Here's a picture of my mom & brother during church yesterday.

Precious, right? My sister and I looked up during the prayer and saw this adorable sight and decided to document it. Except right after I took the picture, I felt a huge, sweaty hand clamp down on my shoulder, and the obese woman sitting behind me whispered violently into my ear, “You girls need to stop whatever you're doing. It's very distracting.”

Ah, there's nothing like getting in trouble during church to make you feel like a kid again.


  1. Wait, did a woman really do that during church?

    Also, I am an illustration major and cannot for the LIFE of me figure out how to make a header thing...

  2. YES. i was extremely angsty and resentful--i thought about turning around and hissing, "MY DAD'S THE PASTOR. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT."

    i can help you make a header if you want! i use you have to paste some HTML in your, uhh, blog design thing to allow you to upload a picture that's a different size than the regular blogspot headers.

  3. omgomgomgomg, we need to get a mutual enemy so we can BOND over it! Also, still laughing at all the rates. I'm going to start sending you my sexually charged children's stories now, because even though you expressly said not to I just don't believe you mean it.

    ps, I can't write anything without writing a "ps" but ps, your list of favorite authors is wooooonderful

  4. I like the new layout a whole lot. The banner is real good.


You are truly great.